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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27687796">a simple kind of man</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainangua/pseuds/captainangua'>captainangua</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>carry on codas [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Adam Milligan is Not Forgotten, Books: Supernatural Series - Carver Edlund, Caring Rowena MacLeod, Case Fic, Demon Bela Talbot, Donatello (supernatural) - Freeform, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester Wedding, Episode Fix-It: s15e20 Carry On, Episode Related, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Ghost Kevin Tran, Grieving Sam Winchester, Growing Old Together, Hunter Claire Novak, Hunter Sam Winchester, Kevin Tran Lives, Married Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), Minor Castiel/Dean Winchester, Minor Kaia Nieves/Claire Novak, Old Sam Winchester, Parent Sam Winchester, Protective Sam Winchester, Werewolf Garth Fitzgerald IV, Witch Sam Winchester, dean jnr's weird childhood with a giant weird extended family, i wanna hear about sam's long and very weird life, you wanna imply he had a normal time of it?? lol no way</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 02:01:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,595</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27687796</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainangua/pseuds/captainangua</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Growing up, Sam had always felt isolated. When Dean and his Dad were busy, he’d had no one real and human there with him. Despite being an only child, he was thrilled that this Dean was always surrounded by a doting circle of friends and family.</p><p>But sometimes he wished he didn’t have to spend so much time worrying about the way they doted.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Adam Milligan &amp; Sam Winchester, Apocalypseverse Bobby Singer &amp; Sam Winchester, Claire Novak &amp; Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester &amp; Sam Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Jack Kline &amp; Sam Winchester, Kevin Tran &amp; Sam Winchester, Rowena MacLeod &amp; Sam Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>carry on codas [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2024549</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>68</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>a simple kind of man</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>doing my best to make myself be okay with the finale by filling in the many, many gaps. i feel like this reads more like a bullet point list than a good read but i just want to get all these concepts released somewhere</p><p>(yes still firmly in the bargaining phase, what of it)</p><p>episode compliant, because that really gave us no details huh, except for the fact that THIS sam absolutely doesn't have pictures of only his blood family up around his room wtf</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I know what you want to ask me, Sam.”</p><p>Sam grinned weakly as he turned in his seat at the diner bar and found Jack sitting there. He looked exactly as he had the last time Sam had seen him. Not that appearances should mean much anymore.</p><p>“Is that a yes?”</p><p>Jack smiled, keeping his hands buried his hands in his pockets. “I am supposed to be hands off.”</p><p>Sam huffed out a laugh, trying not to let his mind wander anywhere cruel. “I know.”</p><p>“I’m sorry about Dean, Sam.”</p><p>Nodding, Sam bit down on his lip, not trusting himself to have an answer to that. A year later and it still hurt so badly to think on. His brother had wanted to live, had finally been allowed to, and –</p><p>“Yeah. Anyway. Officiating a wedding’s not exactly a resurrection though, right?”</p><p>“In some ways I suppose it would make it the most official marriage there’s ever been.”</p><p>“Exactly!”</p><p>“Shouldn’t you ask her first before you start planning the ceremony?”</p><p>“Are you warning me Eileen’s gonna say no?”</p><p>“You know she won’t.”</p><p>“I wanted to check if you were going to make it. You really are all the family I have, Jack, though I know it’s… that it’s different now.”</p><p>Jack frowned. “No – I’m not. Adam’s back.”</p><p>Sam blinked. “But Michael said…”</p><p>Finally, the hands emerged apologetically from the jacket pockets. “That was before. I brought everyone back that Chuck erased.”</p><p>Sam exhaled a long breath. “…and we left him again.”</p><p>“…yes. He’s okay,” Jack hurried to reassure him.</p><p>“I should find him.” Sam swallowed. “And - Jack, I’m not trying to -”</p><p>“Dean’s fine,” Jack said, smiling. “He’s at peace.”</p><p>“And Cas? Is he still…?”</p><p>“Cas is there too, not the Empty – not anymore.”</p><p>Sam let his shoulders drop in relief. “They’re together then.”</p><p>“Not yet.” Now, Jack’s smile almost seemed coy. “But they’ll get there. They have time.”</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>The proposal didn’t exactly go as planned. Sam had been knocked out, again, on a hunt, and Eileen had found the ring box before he woke up. Sam was still concussed when he opened his eyes, and at first he thought she was waving four of them in his face.</p><p>But even if she agreed it was a disaster of a proposal, she did say yes, and Jack did officiate.</p><p>Neither had planned on a large ceremony, but the more people that found out about it, the more it seemed to spiral. When Garth heard the news he gave Sam a crushing hug and started talking Sam through his ideas for his best man speech that Sam hadn’t asked him to write.</p><p>Even as he tore his eyes away from Eileen, who did not wear white on the day, and looked around at the crowd of loved ones they’d gathered to watch them, Sam still found people that surprised him. He was only mildly alarmed and actually slightly touched to catch a glimpse of Mrs Butters raising a glass to him during the night. During the ceremony, the loudest cheerleading voice was from Sully, who did not stay to speak to Sam, but had the most incredible rainbow tuxedo on for the event.</p><p>It couldn’t have been more different than Sam’s first wedding in a Vegas chapel, with only Dean in attendance, angrily begging for Sam to explain himself. It was all a big, informal affair in Donna’s yard, with a gazebo to save them from the rain that did inevitably start, but didn’t last long, which Jack swore he had nothing to do with. Adam did attend, and spent most of the evening in drunken conversation with Donatello. Kaia and Claire snuck away early and seemed to believe no one had noticed when they came back in the end of the night, Claire’s tie missing and Kaia’s hairdo entirely destroyed. Rowena sent a note saying she was too busy to attend, but she sent them a wedding gift – the deed to a large house in the Kansas City suburbs.</p><p>When he shared that particular piece of news with Eileen, it was the end of the night she was much more interested in getting him out of his clothes than watching his lips.</p><p>“It just – it might not be the most ethical thing, to just <em>take</em>. There’s no way she got it through <em>good </em>means…”</p><p>Firmly, Eileen put a finger to Sam’s lips as she succeeded in grappling with the last of his shirt buttons and pushing him down onto the bed. “Stop worrying so much.”</p><p>“But -”</p><p>“You are very lucky you’re pretty, Sam.”</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>Thanksgiving had been a wonderfully loud one at Jody’s. But Dean’s first Christmas was not supposed to be a busy one. The plan had been Eileen and him would finally get some time alone to dote together on their four-month old, who had only just learned to laugh.</p><p>But then Adam had called Sam a few days before, sounding suspiciously low. And drunk. And talking about missing Michael. And it was fine, Eileen had insisted, for Sam to bring his estranged little brother around for the holidays.</p><p>And then on the day Rowena had swept in wearing a santa hat and effortlessly carrying a sack larger than she was, bulging to bursting with baby toys.</p><p>While they were still trying to navigate the conversation of Rowena assuming herself the godmother (“Although, we might have to come up with a better term for that…”) Bobby, who Sam would always think of as “other Bobby” no matter how much time had passed, turned up at the door begging Sam to help him get rid of the bodies in his truck.</p><p>When Sam and Bobby returned the meal was being served, <em>Die Hard</em> was playing on the television, and Adam was letting Dean hold onto his finger, a strange expression clouding his face.</p><p>“I never even had cousins growing up,” Adam said, not taking his eyes off the baby. “Didn’t really expect to be an Uncle.” Finally, he looked up at Sam. “I should have brought gifts, huh?”</p><p>Cautious, Sam clapped his brother on the shoulder. “Don’t worry. He’s not really old enough to notice yet. And it’s not like we’ve ever been a gift family.”</p><p>With a dull jolt in his gut, Sam realised that he’d again said “we” when he didn’t need to.</p><p>“Well I’ll do better,” Adam promised.</p><p><em>Me too,</em> Sam thought. “Was it alright though?” he asked aloud. “Being an only child?”</p><p>“I guess. I never really thought about it – my Mom was great, and she was always there. Why, you don’t wanna have any more?”</p><p>Eileen shook her head as she walked by, leaving the table for the three tiered monster of cake Rowena had also, apparently, brought with her.</p><p>“Sam thinks you’ve all been cursed enough with scary prophecies for this one to have any siblings.”</p><p>Adam made a face, and looked back down at Dean. “Yeah, can’t really argue with that, I guess.”</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>Occasionally they would hunt, sometimes together, sometimes alone. Occasionally that would follow them home. And other hunters still used Sam as a reference, for information, for another confirming voice for the cops. Garth joked on more than one occasion that Sam had been the one who’d really turned into the new Bobby. And the younger ones made him feel like it. Their house had a panic room other hunters did turn up to borrow occasionally. Claire crashed Dean’s very busy third birthday barbeque covered head to toe in blood, grinning and demanding Sam make her up a cure for vampirism. But the life Sam was never quite able to step away from would always follow him home, not try breaking into the bunker – until the first time he got a note that the alarm system had caught something there.</p><p>Knowing he hadn’t been able to face the Bunker since his brother’s death, Eileen offered to join him, but Sam preferred to handle it alone. Besides, there was always hope. Jack had never confirmed what version of Cas he’d pulled out of the Empty – what if, somehow, it was Cas?</p><p>Sam was glad he’d not let his hopes rise much when he stepped into the bunker and found a familiar face trapped in the first devil’s trap he’d left waiting. Funny really, that she’d made it through all the unbreakable security systems but not the first very easy trap.</p><p>“Bela?”</p><p>It was nearing on two decades since he’d last seen the thief, but, apart from the eyes that now flashed black when she smirked, she looked the same. “Hello, Sam.”</p><p>“Same body. That must have been difficult to wrangle.”</p><p>Smiling, Bela brushed at her bare forearms like brushing lint off a new skirt. “It was worth it. Living in someone else’s leftovers isn’t exactly my style.”</p><p>“But thieving still is.”</p><p>“You can’t blame me for trying. When I heard about you just leaving this place to its own devices… well it just seemed like a horrible waste.”</p><p>“Uh-huh. And this was your idea?” Crossing his arms, Sam started pacing around the trap. “Your <em>Queen</em> didn’t have anything to do with this little attempt?”</p><p>Bela’s eyes widened innocently. “Oh, Rowena wouldn’t ever try to <em>steal</em> from you…”</p><p>Sam laughed. “Yeah. Tell her nice try.” And then he started the exorcism.</p><p>“Hey, that’s just <em>rude </em>-”</p><p>“Good to see you too, Bela.”</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>Sam always tried to be cautious when it came to the press, to the law. He didn’t use the car much, which was easy enough, since it was impossible to sit in without thinking of Dean, and if he could avoid being on camera then he did that – the last thing he wanted was to be flung back into a maximum security lockup.</p><p>In fairness to the other version of himself, they hadn’t been given a whole lot of context to them wary,</p><p>Sam almost left them there. He had a bad feeling that if it had just been an alternate version of himself the LAPD had their hands on, he would have definitely done just that. But it was Dean, too, even if it wasn’t really. And no version of him was ever going to abandon any version of his brother.</p><p>Eileen insisted on coming with him – after all, his was the last face that should be around these cops. It took them a few days, but eventually they managed to orchestrate a breakout for the two alternate universe brothers and met them with a stolen car and a new set of IDs.</p><p>Sam knew it would hurt, looking at his brother that wasn’t his brother, but somehow he still hadn’t been prepared enough.</p><p>This Dean was so thrilled when he saw the new IDs and recognised the names on them. When he heard Eileen mention their Dean his face lit up and he immediately demanded to see photographs. Eileen was happy enough to whizz through the few on her phone – Dean at Halloween, dressed as a Disney Princess he’d decided was his favourite that week, Dean using Miracle as an unwilling cushion, Dean in his Little League uniform.</p><p>“Hey, he looks great! What a great smile.” He gave the phone back, still grinning, looking more carefree than Sam had almost ever seen his real brother. “We should get together sometime, let him meet him namesake.”</p><p>“No,” Sam snapped immediately, not thinking.</p><p>To his surprise and gratitude, his own doppelganger seemed to understand, and steered his brother into their new stolen car and away.</p><p>“You okay?” Eileen asked after they left.</p><p>“We should go.”</p><p>“So that’s a no.”</p><p>Sam grimaced. “It’s a no.”</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>Sam was in the middle of interrogating his five year old about what <em>exactly</em> his new imaginary friend looked like when Mrs Tran rang his doorbell.</p><p>He was surprised, and then happy, to see her. She was older, because of course she was, but he’d forgotten how small she was. For about half an hour she spoke with him, and Eileen, mostly small-talk about parenting and offering condolences for Dean, sitting on their couch sipping coffee from a steady hand. And then she brought up her real reasons for visiting.</p><p>“I want you to speak to your other son for me.”</p><p>Sam froze, and risked a glance at his wife. “…other son?”</p><p>“Don’t play dumb with me. You have a word in with God, am I right? And you owe us so many favours.”</p><p>“Us?” Sam asked, uselessly. Who else?</p><p>Kevin materialised on the couch next to his mother and offered a wave. “Heya, Sam.”</p><p>“He’s still here,” Linda explained. “And he should be enjoying Paradise.”</p><p>“Mom, I’m not going to leave you. We’ve talked about this already.”</p><p>“And it’s very sweet of you. But you deserve to rest.”</p><p>“He doesn’t have to,” Eileen said slowly, and Sam shot her a look of panic. For once oblivious, Eileen shrugged at him. “Sam could bring Kevin back like he did me.”</p><p>It took a while for Linda’s one-woman uproar to cool. By the time it did, Sam was starting to budge, a little. True, they could call Rowena. Jack had said no more interfering but he hadn’t actually <em>banned </em>Sam from doing anything like this.</p><p>“It’s the right thing to do,” Eileen assured him later as Sam filled a syringe with his own blood, ready to call Rowena. “It’s not an insult to Dean. That was different.”</p><p>Sam did his best to muster a smile. “I guess.”</p><p>“Dean was ready to move on, and he told you not to. Besides. Maybe Jack didn’t make Kevin move on yet because he’s okay with you doing this.”</p><p>Rowena agreed to help, but she wasn’t all that interested in being altruistic when it wasn’t about her godson. “I’ll help you fetch ingredients for it, Samuel, but you’ll have to handle this one yourself. I <em>am</em> a busy woman trying to run a dimension down here.”</p><p>“But -”</p><p>“You’ve done it before, haven’t you?”</p><p>Bar a regular amount of protective sigils, Sam hadn’t dabbled in magic in a long time. But Linda was right, he did owe the Trans a lot. And Eileen was there, warm and real and squeezing his hand – all because he had brought her back. He had done this before. He could save people, bring them back.</p><p>(Just not Dean, not again.)</p><p>And he did. Jack didn’t appear, suddenly all fire and brimstone. Nothing went wrong. Over a decade since Sam’s body had been the death of him, Kevin Tran was alive and able to hug his mother – to hug Sam, laughing, like he really was that young again.</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>Growing up, Sam had always felt isolated. When Dean and his Dad were busy, he’d had no one real and human there with him. Despite being an only child, he was thrilled that this Dean was always surrounded by a doting circle of friends and family.</p><p>But sometimes he wished he didn’t have to spend so much time worrying about the <em>way </em>they doted.</p><p>Just like he’d once taught Jack, other Bobby taught Dean to fight. That was nice, Sam could live with things like that, things that were useful.</p><p>Rowena was harder to manage. The first time Dean was upset about getting a bad grade in a spelling test he summoned her just like she’d apparently told him to and Sam only found out just in time to get to all the hexbags hidden around the guilty teacher’s classroom.</p><p>But Rowena wasn’t around much, and she had the good excuse of being the literal Queen of Hell for her bad behaviour. Claire didn’t have any such excuses.</p><p>“Claire, you said you could babysit. That meant I thought you were going to look after him, Claire -”</p><p>Eileen had asked Sam to go easy, and fuck, Sam was trying. The fact that Claire and all of Jody’s clan had only grown closer to them over the years was a major source of pride for him, and the last thing Sam wanted was for Jody to find out about this.</p><p>“I was! I did!”</p><p>“You used him as bait,” Sam said quietly, forcing himself not to roar out the words like he wanted to.</p><p>She winced as though he had yelled. “I didn’t exactly get a whole of options, Sam. I promise I never would have done it if I thought there was another way of us both getting alive.”</p><p>Sam heaved in a breath. He knew this. She’d done her best, had done exactly what he’d done with other people and other people’s kids a hundred times before. Which is why he knew it wasn’t a good enough excuse.</p><p>“This is your first time of him seeing this stuff, isn’t it?”</p><p>“It’s not like weird is new for him,” Sam said, almost mustering a smile. “It’s just not normally -”</p><p>“Trying to hurt him.”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>Relaxing, Claire softly punched him on the arm. “Hey. Remember when we met? I was younger than him.”</p><p>“And we came and rescued you?”</p><p>“Sam, you full on tried to eat a person in front of me and Cas possessed me before taking my Dad away forever. And look, I turned out okay!”</p><p>The force that had been slowly releasing Sam’s heart started clutching hard again. “Yeah, but I don’t want him growing up like you. Or me. Or Eileen.” Sam bit down on his lip and he turned to clutch at the bannister looking down to the lobby of his home. Because now he was a person with a bannister, with a lobby, with a house. Because the Queen of Hell thought it would make a nice wedding gift.</p><p>“But I don’t know how to stop it happening. Things worked out tonight, but what if they don’t next week?”</p><p>Claire didn’t say anything to that at first, but only laid her head lightly on Sam’s arm, never having grown tall enough to reach his shoulder. And for a moment that felt like enough.</p><p>“You’re doing your best.”</p><p>Sam snorted. “That’s what my Dad always liked to say.”</p><p>“Yeah, but Dean’s a ten year old who thinks God is his big brother and somehow isn’t a dick about it. Your best seems to be enough for just now.”</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>It wasn’t easy, Sam realised, growing older without an angel around to heal up your bad knee, your achey shoulder, the migraines that developed from wearing your glasses too much, or not enough. But he would have loved to have Cas around for other reasons, the same he longed every day to have his brother back. He wanted someone to help bear the awkward duty of visiting Donatello in his nursing home. He longed to have anyone around who could remember what Sam had been like when he’d been young, who could share in the strange experience of Dean Jnr also going through a magic phase, and a veganism phase, and, finally, refusing to cut his hair.</p><p>Growing older wasn’t easy, but complaining about it felt like an insult to everyone he’d ever known (Dean, especially, always Dean especially) who’d never had the chance to. So Sam tried never to complain.</p><p>Turning up alone in his fifties to a crowded comic convention full of young people, many of them dressed up just like him, or Cas, or Dean, or Bobby, or Billie – that hurt. They weren’t easy tickets to get, but the moment Sam heard about Carver Edlund’s book signing at a local convention he’d already decided he’d be there, however mortifying or painful the convention experience was.</p><p>When Sam, after an excruciating two hour wait, reached the front of the queue, Chuck’s aged face turned completely white, and he looked ready to flee. That made the wait feel worth it.</p><p>“Hiya Chuck.”</p><p>The writer, who Sam knew had recently signed a television deal for his cult classic comic book adaptation of Supernatural, raised a shaky hand that still gripped his very expensive looking pen. “You can’t leave me alive to live a life and then get annoyed I’m not more upset. You left me alive. Live with it.”</p><p>“I know,” Sam said, putting down Dean’s battered copy of the third anthology. “I just wanted to check in.”</p><p>“…you’re not here to threaten me?” Chuck gave a twitchy glance back, but the convention security guards did not seem very interested in noticing his pointed looks.</p><p>“Should I?”</p><p>“No,” Chuck said slowly, opening the first page of the book without taking his eyes off Sam. “I’ve been good. Where’s Dean?”</p><p>“He’s safe,” Sam said, smiling a smile that was all for himself as he stared down at the man who had once been all knowing. “He might have come with me today, but he was busy. He had an interview.”</p><p>Chuck scrunched up his face, highlighting all of his new, deep wrinkles. As far as the internet had to tell Sam, he was still single, and, somehow, very in debt. Occasionally he got into twitter spats with other, more famous writers. “That doesn’t sound right. Dean wouldn’t have just… moved on.”</p><p>“Maybe you never knew me or my family as well as you thought you did,” Sam said, and picked up the book. “Take care of yourself, Chuck.”</p><p>“That’s it?”</p><p>Sam smiled. Behind Chuck, he spotted a teenage girl with purple hair and cardboard cut-out wings pass by in a trenchcoat. She looked deliriously happy. “That’s it.”</p><p>He turned away and walked back through the crowds. Just like on his way in, no one could mistake him for a cosplayer. He was far too old to be Sam Winchester.</p><p>But in some ways that felt like a victory. </p><p> </p><p>*</p>
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